These are some of the hardest words I’ve ever written.
*I wrote what follows at 5:11 a.m., sitting on my bathroom floor. I decided not to publish it immediately. I’ve had over a good deal of time to sit with it since, and I’ve decided I want you to read it exactly as I wrote it that morning, as it shows a part of me you don’t normally see.
I’ve written millions of words that have been distributed to the public. But the thousand that follow may be the hardest I’ve ever had to write.
And I’m going to tell you exactly how I’m writing them: undignified, in the bathroom, alternating between being curled over on the toilet, my laptop perched on a stool, and lying on the floor, specifically on my right side, because lying on my left is too painful.
I’m writing this in fits and starts, embarrassed, a bit ashamed, and writing it out of an obligation to a promise that I made to myself that maybe I haven’t been good enough at holding up. It’s a promise I also made to you: to be authentic.
Sorry for the dramatic opener. It is sincere, but now let me rewind a little bit.